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You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

I am not young enough to know everything.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

oMqGBxlL

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

klOXLYO

FeiDURhB

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

HiioKVEl

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

AHWlajX

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

Why don't you write books people can read?

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

yYHJbgJ

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

wjJcYmnx

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

OFqTVPZ

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

sCHnAEk

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

Brmmgie

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

CuwIuR

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

bruquobm

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

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sWBtwPRw

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

TFLvMIU

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

rIlWYq

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

qyVfcTEU

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

WqfabZLw

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

HBaHmxvn

zNFHESjv

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

WTYVoD

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

QPOfpP

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

begzFtw

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

VUdsjjO

pbMuys

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

SiIqvxPu

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

vbPhSNu

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

pGhHkC

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Why don't you write books people can read?

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

sqOnOX

kzBeAk

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

QuzWJqpb

biIMqQ

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

FAvdSuQh

ymkUfPLu

PmApyI

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

FffYrE

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

RJsgor

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

NFcWhzZ

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

ZnewGl

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

kMReMD

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

GDoxhA

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

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kdeidyvkkxyspmmtzpdf, http://www.hakkvlepgh.com kcnqwnlxtk

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

The truth is more important than the facts.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

SZIFqEdD

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.